In Progress - Worst Movie List
So we have the best movies people recommend - now for the worst. Send me your list of 5 worst movies and I will add them into the list.
The movies are listed alphabetically and by the number of votes they have.
So far we have:
- Planet of the Apes - the Tim (I have to wipe my ass on really good things) Burton remake. What a monumental piece of crap. I have had hemorrhoids that I enjoyed more. And the ending - what the ever living fuck was that? The movie contradicted itself so many times and in so many ways it makes my brain hurt just thinking about it. Do not see it. First movie with 2 votes.
- 30th Anniversary Night of the Living Dead DVD - they recut the film. Check out this great rant http://www.aintitcool.com/display.cgi?id=4397 - Best Rant about a bad movie ever!
- 13 Ghosts - The remake
- Batman - Another Tim Burton suck fest. I have to admit I saw this twice because the first time I could not believe how bad it was. I figured "Well I am a fan of the Batman comic, so maybe I am just being really hard on the film." So in all fairness I saw it again. Still sucked
- Blue velvet - Imagine Salvador Dali directing "Abbot & Costello meet Marilyn Chambers". Now make it unfunny and boring. I was more interested in the coat of the guy sitting in front of me than this movie. I think if a date drags you to a movie that sucks this bad she ows your a BJ.
- Boxing Helena - Another film that even though there is a lot of nudity, and hot nudity at that, it does not matter - nothing will ever save this movie. When I and the audience left the movie we told the people waiting on line to go see another film. When someone responded that it could not be that bad, we all looked at each other and in unison said "It's a dream sequence". Everyone on line went to another movie.
- Destiny Turns On the Radio - One of the most boring movies ever made. Quentin Tarantino guest starred as a favor to his no-talent director buddy. A complete waste of everyone's time.
- Double Agent 73 - This is a soft core movie where secret agent Chesty Morgan has a camera inserted in her breast so when she wants to take a picture she whips it out and squeezes. I was going through puberty when I saw this movie and even all the nudity could not save this movie.
- Eraserhead - The second David Lynch movie, but Tim Burton is still ahead in sucking.
- Family Stone
- Howling 2
- Howling 3
- Howling 4
- Howling 5
- Interview with a Vampire - Second Tom Cruise movie to make the list
- Ishtar
- Jaws 3D
- Mars Attacks - In the long, long list of awful, fake-artsy Tim Burton movies, this one sucks the most ass. Quite a feat there, Tim.
- Meet the Fockers - Second Ben Stiller movie to make the list.
- Something about Mary - Cameron Diaze would have to actually give blowjobs in the theater to get me to see this waste of time again.
- Star Trek V: The Final Frontier - Shatner finally gets to direct one and boy is it an ass wipe of a film. The plot involves Spock's long lost never mentioned brother. But the main reason he did it - the final fight of the movie - Kirk vs. God. And Kirk wins.
- Starship Troopers
- Surf Nazi's Must Die - The shittiest of all the shitty Troma movies. Granted, that's like comparing which is worse: leprosy or ebola. They both suck, but which would you rather die from?
- Tarzan the Ape Man - This convinced me that Bo Derek sucks. In fact, everyone involved with this movie sucks. I suck for sitting thru it. Boring soft-core porn for people who are afraid to watch the real thing.
- Top Gun - Jingoistic Tom Cruise bullshit with an annoying, awful soundtrack. This movie is why the 80's sucked. Really. It's solely responsible. It ruined the decade for me.
Please note that the quotes are from the various people who submitted to this list and do not necessarily express the viewpoints of this blog.
They probably do though.
Especially anything about Tim Burton sucking monkey cock.
posted by GD @ 3:41 PM
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