Dear Red States...

A friend send me the following. Do not know who wrote it, but it is funny.

Dear Red States...

We've decided we're leaving.

We intend to form ourown country, and we're taking the other Blue States with us. In case you aren't aware, that includes Hawaii,Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and allthe Northeast.

We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation,and especially to the people of the new country of New California.

To sum up briefly: You get Texas, Oklahoma and allthe slave states. We get stem cell research and the bestbeaches.

We get Elliot Spitzer. You get Ken Lay.

We get the Statue of Liberty. You get Dollywood.

We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom.

We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss.

We get 85 percent of America's venture capital andentrepreneurs. You get Alabama.

We get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to makethe red states pay their fair share.

Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lowerthan the Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happyfamilies. You get a bunch of single moms.

Please be aware that Nueva California will bepro-choice and anti-war, and we're going to want all our citizensback from Iraq at once. If you need people to fight, ask yourevangelicals. They have kids they're apparently willing to send to theirdeaths for no purpose, and they don't care if you don't showpictures of their children's caskets coming home. We do wish you successin Iraq, and hope that the WMDs turn up, but we're not willing to spend our resources in Bush's Quagmire.

With the Blue States in hand, we will have firmcontrol of 80 percent of the country's fresh water, more than 90 percent ofthe pineapple and lettuce, 92 percent of the nation's fresh fruit,95 percent of America's quality wines (you can serve French winesat state dinners) 90 percent of all cheese, 90 percent of the high techindustry, most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods,sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools, plusStanford, Berkeley, Cal Tech and MIT.

With the Red States, on the other hand, you will haveto cope with 88 percent of all obese Americans (and their projectedhealth care costs), 92 percent of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly100 percent of the tornadoes, 90 percent of the hurricanes, 99 percentof all Southern Baptists, virtually 100 percent of alltelevangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University ofGeorgia.

We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.

Additionally, 38 percent of those in the Red statesbelieve Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale, 62 percent believelife is sacred unless we're discussing the death penalty or gunlaws, 44 percent say that evolution is only a theory, 53 percent thatSaddam was involved in 9/11 and 61 percent of you crazy b*****ds believeyou are people with higher morals then we lefties.

By the way, we're taking the good pot, too. You canhave that dirt weed they grow in Mexico.

Peace out,Blue States